So my last post I told you this entry would be about joy… I’ve struggled with what to write about; how to write it and what it would sound like. After writing and rewriting a hundred times I finally feel like I can click “Publish” with the following post.
: a feeling of great happiness
: a source or cause of great happiness : something or someone that gives joy to someone
: success in doing, finding, or getting something
This weekend (March 14th 2014) I got to be a part of a conference in UT. This will have been my 4th(?) year as the lead sound technician. Each year the production gets bigger and the messages deeper. This particular conference I became introspective during the messages. Over the past few years a lot has changed with me. Many of those changes have revolved around my sexual orientation. In this time I’ve come to realize something about christian teachings on being LGBT. Most of them are limited in understanding and make generalizations of an entire group of people.
Saturday a speaker shared on being the real you. At the end of the service individuals were called out if dealing with a number of issues. They called out homosexual feelings. Those feelings were also attributed to root issues from childhood experiences such as abuse. I would like to clarify that this is NOT what causes you to be a homosexual and is a dangerous supposition. Here’s the deal: being LGBT is not a matter of illness, spiritual warfare, demonic oppression or childhood issues, period.
This weekend I came to realize some truisms in my life. My attraction to my boyfriend, Jacob, has certainly nothing to do with my childhood experiences. My father was very present and non-abusive and I don’t have a lack of spiritual foundation. Everyday I think to myself that I couldn’t be happier with Jacob. My joy is not fundamentally based on Jacob but a very large part of my happiness comes from him. There are multiple things that bring me joy: my God, my family, my boyfriend, my friends and my life all bring me joy! You see joy comes from the spiderweb that is happiness. Think of joy as being the center of a mind map. There are so many different facets and branches (the things that bring you happiness) that make up joy!
I want this post to encourage individuals who are feeling oppressed or condemned. I want you to have comfort and encouragement. I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve felt confused and condemned that these feelings towards another are wrong and sinful. That these feelings stem from your past and that you can “overcome” or “fix” them. That’s a lie. You don’t need to overcome them. You are perfectly and wonderfully made by your creator. You’re not broken because you are LGBT.
Let your joy flow by doing things that make you happy. Let your joy flow by being with whoever it is that brings you happiness.
To the stars we go my friends!